Patience

I expressed many times to friends and family that year 2020 was life-changing. I wanted to become the best version of myself and I was looking to become everything God created me to be. One of the challenges of 2020 was faith. I struggled, but I believed my faith had grown tremendously. Recently, I found myself revisiting this struggle and had to come to terms that I still didn’t trust God as I thought.

What I’m asking God for I can see myself obtaining. It benefits my family and satisfies my wants and needs. The problem I’m having is timing. I struggle with patience. If I set my sight on something or better yet, dream of something that I want to do I always try to figure out how to make it happen today, tomorrow, this week or the very near future. However, TODAY is ALWAYS the preference! If I don’t see progression quickly, I get anxiety, and depending on how big the desire is, my faith may begin to waiver because it’s not happening fast enough.

While struggling with whether God was making a way, I had a conversation with my husband, and the scripture ”Faith worketh patience” (James 1:3) was ringing loud and clear in my head. This scripture wasn’t new but, at that moment, I understood it more clearly! Just because I must wait for the dream doesn’t mean that the dream isn’t happening. God gave me the dream because He knows my heart’s desire and my heart’s desire reflects His heart. The dream doesn’t just benefit me, it’s meant to be a blessing to the people connected to me. My family values are at the root of the dream but there is a journey that’s necessary in preparing me for its manifestation.

I am in the process of learning how not to get hung up on my timeline and go with the journey. When your dreams align with purpose the journey and the wait are developing you for what you can’t see you need preparation for. How many times have you thought you needed something and depending on how long it took to obtain it, you realized you didn’t need it and, in some cases, you no longer wanted it? There’s a difference between desires of the heart and temporary obsessions. In addition, check your attitude with God when you’ve accused Him of not giving you the desires of your heart which He promised. Was your asking the desire of your heart or a temporary obsession? We’ve asked God to give us people who don’t fit our values and hurt us and now they are removed from our lives. The desire of our heart was to be treated right and loved so did He go back on His promise? You asked God for that job that you didn’t know would’ve disrupted your home/work balance and cause you immense stress, so when you didn’t get it, did He not give you the desire of your heart?

Keep dreaming and embrace the journey. Just because it doesn’t happen in the timeline that you’ve set doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. There’s pruning that happens during the wait. The challenges, failures and setbacks are a part of the process. If you learn from failures, it’s no longer a failure but a lesson or teachable moment. Keep the faith and don’t lose it. Be patient!