LOVE IS A CHOICE

I’ve been dealing with people challenges lately. I’ve reflected on identity, insecurity, lack of patience, jealousy, unforgiveness, heart issues, and narcissism. Love is another one because I find many people say they ”love”, but I don’t think they’ve actually identified what love embodies. I believe we have a concept or an idea of what we want love to look like and are “in love” with the idea of love but to love others requires more than our emotions.

What is love? I always use two definitions as references, the dictionary version, and the Bible version. I have strong Christian values so I must use it since it’s the foundation of my beliefs. I NEVER want to use it to pass judgment; for where’s the love in that? Christianity should be a belief that is founded on love and projects love; however, humans and their flaws will not always be representatives of Christ or love.

One of Merriam-Webster’s definitions of “Love” is a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. The Biblical definition of love found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 states that ”love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud. It does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, not easily angered and keeps no record of wrong.” The biblical definition isn’t based on emotion but is revealed through actions and choices. At times this definition can feel quite challenging. However, with my children, this definition isn’t challenging. Why does the love I have for my children differ from other humans? What is it that keeps me from being able to truly love others to this capacity? Am I incapable of truly loving others or did I choose to love my children unconditionally but have created conditions of love with regard to others?

I read a quote by Steven Furtick that said, “Love is not words, it’s actions, and love isn’t feelings, it’s a decision.” This made me think about when I married my husband, based on the man he was I chose to love him. When we had problems in our marriage I chose to stay and go to God to help me with the love because I didn’t feel it. That was the point, the love wasn’t about my feelings, the love was about my choice.

We are living in a society where the word “love” is so loosely thrown around that we have stripped it of its commitment. When God said he loves us it started with Him choosing us, followed by his love regardless of our choice to love Him in return. God’s love is the reason for your existence. His love is entangled with your gifts that are meant to be given to others. Your gifts are designed for purpose. Your purpose is the intended impact of your life that is rooted out of God’s love.

Just as discovering our destiny, design and purpose relies on our decisions and actions of that choice, remember that our love and the actions birthed from the commitment of that love is also a choice.