INSIDE OUT

One of my earlier blogs was entitled “The New Home Plan” wherein I wrote about my process of potentially building a new home. As I looked for floor plans to fit the needs of my family it made me correlate that process with how I see God’s mind behind our creation. The design of a home to fit my needs associated with His mind behind our journeys and design outcome to fit His.

Due to the increase in costs to building homes, I began looking into purchasing a previously owned home. This search has been daunting because I have gotten excited looking at the exterior of homes that meet the price point, necessary square footage, lot size, and beauty of curb appeal to then be disappointed by the interiors of these homes. Often, the inside of these home does not meet the expectations that the outside of these homes suggested.

Here I am again, drawing a connection between people and homes. I can’t help it. How often have you met people who appeared to be one way on the outside but when you get to know them revealed to you a contradiction of that outward representation? That contradiction is not always beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside, sometimes there is so much beauty internally but the external was judged and we didn’t allow ourselves to see the beauty within. We’re going to save that ugly reality and flawed judgment for another conversation.

I’m not going to turn this into a general people issue, I’m going to bring this home and look into my mirror. I’m going to confront myself and ask myself, “When people meet you or see pictures of you, does your external self reflect your internal self?” I’ve realized over the years that my internal state will project externally. I’ve spent many years on camouflage by trying to ensure that my external self presented a polished version when my internal state was broken and ugly. What’s the point of being beautiful on the outside when inside I’m a mess? Inside I’m dealing with jealousy, unforgiveness, narcissism, self-hatred, and lack of love. So often we are trying to fix internal issues externally.

If I don’t build a new home, I am on a mission to find a home that interior reflects the beauty and needs of my family. I’ve even bought into the idea that if it has good bones, I’m willing to renovate and bring the interior up to meet my standards. Why would I do anything less when it comes to myself? Why would I want people to see me and find me beautiful on the outside for them to get to know me and realize my internal self does not meet the beauty my external self suggest? I read a quote which I agree with that said, “You are the greatest project you will ever work on” ~ Unknown.

Self reflection and acknowledgment of what you find is important. However, acknowledgement is not enough! What are you going to do about it? One of the important pieces in discovering your destiny, design and purpose is to live authentically and intentionally inside out.